Puns & Jokes
A murderer joined the military and made a killing.
A soldier is someone who stands in formation to receive information.
A soldier never made it back to his base because he had driven his jeep into AWOL.
A young corporal dislocated his arm during a battle but kept going. You could say he was shouldering on.
After the armistice there was a POW exchange. I guess they are right. The truce shall set you free.
An ex-sailor prefers to forget the days he spent playing cards in submarines, dismissing them as ‘so much bridge under the water’.
I see that the military alliance formed after World War II is going to provide security in Southern Afghanistan. Neato!
I went to buy some camouflage pants the other day, but I couldn’t find any.
Old soldiers never die. Young ones do.
Soldier suffers from premature ejaculation. Dishonorable discharge.
The American armored division displayed a Pattonted new maneuver while marching across France.
The contractor hired a group of soldiers to build the military prison. It was an effective use of brig aid.
The military chaplain was chosen to pilot the wor ship.
The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
Then there was the dictator who wanted to conquer the world, but was delayed while counting the feet of his soldiers. His was a toe-tally tarrying regime.
What would you get if you crossed a pigeon and a general? A military coo.
When asked to picture the perfect modern defensive weapon the Claymore springs to mine.
When William joined the army he disliked the phrase ‘fire at will’.
Young Stan told his father that when he grew up he wanted to drive a big Army tank. ‘Well, son,’ said his dad, ‘if that’s what you want to do, I won’t stand in your way.”
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: A joke exploiting the different possible meanings of a word or the fact that there are words that sound alike but have different meanings.
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