Puns & Jokes
7 days without pizza makes one weak.
A band of teenagers cruised past my neighbor’s house and pelted it with rotten tomatoes. Police described it as a drive-by fruiting. B.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
A box full to the brim with jelly jars is jam-packed.
A Cajun restaurant made all their sauce on one day for the week. The cook roux’ed the day.
A cheese manufacturer located on the coastline was called Ocean Bries.
A chinese dumpling was weighed and found wonton.
A fisherman hated fish and chips but he didn’t tell a sole.
A good pun is like a good steak; a rare medium well done.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes
A man was found dead in a vat of falafel condiment. Police are treating it as a hummuscide.
A reporter was at an ice cream store getting the scoop.
A sandwich walks into a bar. He sits down, asks for a drink, to which the bartender replies: ”Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
A swan’s favorite salad is Cobb salad.
After getting a hot dog from a vendor I asked ‘Can I have more onions?’, he replied ‘No that’s shallot’.
After Gus gave his girlfriend a 3 dollar box of chocolates for her birthday he got nothing but snickers.
An acquaintance of mine let me try his mixture of basil, olive oil, garlic, and ground pine nuts. We immediately became pesto friends.
An Arabian hostel offers Bedouin breakfast.
An egg was late for work, he scrambled to get ready.
As he sat in the commissary enjoying his kung pao cheesecake, the CEO wondered if his outsaucing policy had gone a bit too far.
As the band were getting their instruments in key she said to the audience that this was a Chinese folk song called ”Too Ning”.
At breakfast, the hacker downloaded cornflakes via his cereal port.
Bought an apple, took a byte out of it.
Cheddar is as Gouda cheese as any American could wish for, and while we Edam all that is something one could never Provolone.
Coming up with cheese puns should be a bries.
Dear, must you spend so much money on food? ”Sorry, darling, but you and the kids just won’t eat anything else!”
Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory? A thousand soles got burned, some heel did it while he was laced.
Did you hear about the injured vegetable? Some say he got beet.
Did you hear about the Italian Chef that died? He pasta way.
Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.
Do you want some cheese to go with your whine?
Eggs make lousy comedians. They always crackup at their own yokes.
Had a delicious apple today… It was bananas! Wait now I’m confused… How bout dem apples? Oh boy am I in a pickle.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
Have some chocolate covered cherries,” she said cordially.
Have you heard about the sheep who worked in a fish and chip shop? One was a battering ram.
Having a rude waiter at an Ethiopian restaurant just adds insult to injera.
He is an excellent soup maker. You might say he is consomme professional.
He rose through the ranks of the International Corn Growers association, eventually becoming a kernel.
He was a restaurant critic but had no taste.
He went on a cheese diet in order to cheddar few pounds.
Help! I have food stuck in my throat! Ha, just choking.
Honeydew you realize we cantaloupe because they would banana from traveling to chili.
How did the hipster burn his mouth? He took a bite of his pizza before it was cool.
How do you turn soup into gold? You add 24 carrots.
How does a baby get food when it’s hungry? Womb service.
How does a Welsh man eat cheese? Caerphilly.
I beat the eggs and I whip the cream, but the onion always makes me cry.
I bet the butcher $50 that he couldn’t reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, ‘no, the steaks are too high.’
I couldn’t decide whether or not to make spiced apple cider, so I mulled it over.
©2009-2013 All Rights Reserved.
Submit A Pun
User Submitted Puns
: A joke exploiting the different possible meanings of a word or the fact that there are words that sound alike but have different meanings.
Puns About Puns
Terms and Conditions